It was a chilly night… and it put me in a bit of a whimsical mood. A simple yellow scarf adds a pop of color to a monochromatic outfit while also dressing down the sequins. Don’t limit your “going out” looks to nighttime… just add some denim, sandals and a scarf. Oh, and you can always add leopard print. Always.
Alright… enough is enough. Let me start by saying that I am not a man-hater. Not in the slightest. In fact, I love. adore. admire. and maybe even cherish men. However, it is time to address the fact that they often use the term “PMS” or “PMS-ing” as an attack/explanation/joke towards women. Men typically don’t even use it correctly, as they refer to it (any time of the month) when a woman is being “moody” or “emotional” (maybe she’s just being honest or speaking her mind). I’m a fan of gender-neutral terms… so let’s make PMS something a little more bilateral. PMS for women… fine. PMS (Pissy Man Syndrome) for men… now the playing field is even.
Now, let’s review the new rules. Men, too, have a cycle. They are moody, emotional, wonderfully human creatures, as well. If they claim otherwise, they are either lying or in denial. If you claim otherwise… you likely haven’t had many long-term interactions with men. Let’s move on to the man’s 28 day* mood cycle.
*The days listed are rough estimates… give or take a few. Men are unpredictable.
Days 1-7: Stable… Like Tom Hanks
Your man is your rock. He is available, stable, prompt in responding to or initiating contact with you and he makes plans. A good indicator of knowing he is the Stable part of his mood cycle is taking a look at his living conditions… squeaky clean? Yep. He’s there. He listens. He is calm and kind. He is a nice shoulder to cry on if necessary. He is not necessarily sexy during this time period (unless you are into completely stable men… if so, you are far more mature than the rest of our species and must share your secrets), but he is easy to love and he feels safe. It can be a good time to talk about something that has been on your mind as he will likely be highly receptive. It’s a wonderful time to schedule a family dinner (as they often can’t be avoided and a stable man makes a fabulous impression on parents). It’s a good time to invite him to spend (a brief amount of) time with your girlfriends (he’ll appear to be the ideal man… he listens! He understands! He’s attentive!). If you are one of those women who needs her man to go shopping with her to feel appreciated (and, please, I hope you change your ways… no more turning your boyfriends into your best girlfriends… tsk tsk), this is one of the best times to ask him as his patience levels are high. This is the best time to increase your mental/emotional closeness. Talk. Get to know him even better. And listen. This is when he’ll open up.
Days 8-14: Affectionate… Like Fabio
Your man is all about you. You feel like an irresistible goddess (well, you feel that way all the time… this is just when he reminds you of that). He is touchy and affectionate. He says just the right things. He is constantly sexy and he is genuinely sweet. This is when your head spins and he has the ability to make you a bit swoony (sidenote: we should all make it a point to swoon more frequently… it’s a lost art and it feels topsy-turvy heart-fluttery uh-ma-zing… master the swoon. Your man can’t make you swoon, you say? Move on to the next eligible suitor immediately). This is when a kiss makes you cross-eyed and you just fit. Cheesy? Totally. Awesome? Uh, yeah. This is one of the best (okay… the best) time in the man’s PMS cycle. This is when your physical bond is the strongest and you feel a bit like a twitterpated teenager. Bask in this out of control lust. This is the stuff that Monster Ballads are made of and you, my dear, are living proof. So put on some Whitesnake and get all gussied up to spend a night (or weekend) in with your man.
I was in the mood to relive my childhood days. The responsibilities of being an adult (yuck) were weighing heavily on my shoulders and I thought that a confetti cupcake was the answer (it was). I wanted a quick fix and almost (gasp!) bought the box mix for funfetti cupcakes. Instead, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that the extra 20 minutes it takes to make it homemade is so worth it. I found the recipe here. Next time, I would probably add 10 times (okay, maybe not that much) the amount of sprinkles because I LOVE the way the colored confetti pops against the vanilla cake. I felt seven years old again… and it was blissful…. for the entire 10 seconds that it took me to inhale this to-die-for cupcake.
Camo pants = true love. They are comfortable, a true neutral, and are perfect for camping… working in the yard… refinishing furniture… the list goes on. The challenge was to make them feminine, fashionable (outside of the campground) and (the true challenge) appropriate for meeting my best friends for our can’t-miss mimosa brunch. I added a plethora of bows, my new favorite color (lavender… wrote about it here) in the form of a cashmere sweater, and a little bit of sparkle. Proof that true femininity is enhanced by a dose of grit.
The power of the flare. It’s flattering in almost all of its applications… Flared sleeves, a flared (and incredibly dramatic) neckline, and flared jeans. Add some more drama… in the form of layered pearl necklaces (one of my favored signature statements) and you’ve got a look that’s perfect for a luncheon or shopping with the girls… Or playing in a gorgeous field of wildflowers.
I, for one, am extremely (ridiculously!) grateful for my girlfriends… they are beyond wonderful and inspiring. They are beautiful, unique, and I feel lucky to know them. They are, as I have outlined below, Alpha-Females. Surround yourself with these women.
A shot of some of the fabulous Alpha-Females in my life…. A lot of LOVE to them and to many of my remarkable Alpha-Female friends not pictured. I am oh-so-grateful for each of you. xoNow… onto the unsavory bunch. We have all encountered Mean Girls. However, no matter how rude someone is, I truly believe that it is a waste of your time and energy to be rude in return. And being mean? Gasp. You, my perfect little lady, would never dare utter negative words about someone. You are far too busy with your fabulous life/family/career/man to waste your time on such trivial matters. Below is a profile of a few Mean Girl Types for you to be aware of… But you are only to be that: aware of them. Do not add fuel to their fire. These types feed on your reaction… And the only reaction you are to give them is simple. Kindness. Kill them with it. Trust me, it works. And you leave all the better for the interaction… Poised, confident, gracious and, as has oftentimes happened for me, you may surprise yourself and leave with a new friend. We women have it hard enough… Raise each other up, please. Quit it with the tear downs. Now, onto the profiling.
The Gossip Queen
She draws people close by telling them hushed, naughty little secrets about everyone she knows. These “secrets” are likely untrue… but the more farfetched they are, the more attention she receives. Immediately be on guard around someone who is a gossip. Just as your mother always told you, “If she talks like that about others, she’ll likely say it about you when you’re gone.” It’s true. You should be aware that this girl likely talks about other people because she’s uncomfortable talking about herself. Insecurity can drive people to do incredibly unattractive things. I personally despise gossip and feel that it is immature, unproductive, and an indicator of low intelligence. If you have a friend who tends to gossip, simply refuse to participate. She will likely feel uncomfortable with your silence/lack of interest and take it as an indicator of disapproval. You may have to express your dislike for it, but you can do it in a charming way (i.e. “I’m sure we can all find something more interesting to talk about. Have you heard about the current political situation/sale at Nordy’s/new happy hour spot?”). At that point, you will either find something new to talk about (a Gossip Queen can be rehabilitated into a good and sometimes loyal friend) or you will not. If no new topic arises, you may walk away knowing that you gave it the old college try and find a new group of friends (see Alpha-Females below).
The Anger Management Case
She rules through fear. She is oftentimes a spoiled girl who is used to getting exactly what she wants. Her characteristics are exacerbated through her martini habit. (more…)