Blonder Ambitions

Category: From Kiki

  • MEAN GIRLS & THE ALPHA-FEMALE

    MEAN GIRLS & THE ALPHA-FEMALE

    I, for one, am extremely (ridiculously!) grateful for my girlfriends… they are beyond wonderful and inspiring.  They are beautiful, unique, and I feel lucky to know them.  They are, as I have outlined below, Alpha-Females.  Surround yourself with these women.

    A shot of some of the fabulous Alpha-Females in my life…. A lot of LOVE to them and to many of my remarkable Alpha-Female friends not pictured. I am oh-so-grateful for each of you. xo

    Now… onto the unsavory bunch.  We have all encountered Mean Girls.  However, no matter how rude someone is, I truly believe that it is a waste of your time and energy to be rude in return.  And being mean? Gasp. You, my perfect little lady, would never dare utter negative words about someone.  You are far too busy with your fabulous life/family/career/man to waste your time on such trivial matters.  Below is a profile of a few Mean Girl Types for you to be aware of… But you are only to be that: aware of them.  Do not add fuel to their fire.  These types feed on your reaction… And the only reaction you are to give them is simple.  Kindness.  Kill them with it.  Trust me, it works.  And you leave all the better for the interaction… Poised, confident, gracious and, as has oftentimes happened for me, you may surprise yourself and leave with a new friend.  We women have it hard enough… Raise each other up, please.  Quit it with the tear downs. Now, onto the profiling.

    The Gossip Queen

    She draws people close by telling them hushed, naughty little secrets about everyone she knows.  These “secrets” are likely untrue… but the more farfetched they are, the more attention she receives.  Immediately be on guard around someone who is a gossip.  Just as your mother always told you, “If she talks like that about others, she’ll likely say it about you when you’re gone.”  It’s true.  You should be aware that this girl likely talks about other people because she’s uncomfortable talking about herself.  Insecurity can drive people to do incredibly unattractive things.  I personally despise gossip and feel that it is immature, unproductive, and an indicator of low intelligence.  If you have a friend who tends to gossip, simply refuse to participate.  She will likely feel uncomfortable with your silence/lack of interest and take it as an indicator of disapproval.  You may have to express your dislike for it, but you can do it in a charming way (i.e. “I’m sure we can all find something more interesting to talk about.  Have you heard about the current political situation/sale at Nordy’s/new happy hour spot?”).  At that point, you will either find something new to talk about (a Gossip Queen can be rehabilitated into a good and sometimes loyal friend) or you will not.  If no new topic arises, you may walk away knowing that you gave it the old college try and find a new group of friends (see Alpha-Females below).

    The Anger Management Case

    She rules through fear.  She is oftentimes a spoiled girl who is used to getting exactly what she wants.  Her characteristics are exacerbated through her martini habit.   (more…)

  • The Holidays: Why They are a Wonderful Excuse to be Merry (Even if you Think Your Life Is Mundane Otherwise and, Frankly, if you Feel This Way, I Would Rather Not Know You)

    I was sitting and filling out loan consolidation forms to somehow figure out how to pay off my $100,000+ law school debt and… suddenly… I lost focus. Imagine that? While I was utterly unable to focus on the thrilling subject matter of overwhelming debt, visions of sugar plums began to dance in my head… Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner (cue Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas” playing in my home on constant repeat). But, I digress… In the midst of my lack of fill-out-my-loan-consolidation-papers-focus, my personal focus sharpened. I wanted to take a moment to share it with all of you.  Here are a few reasons to LOVE, Love, love the holidays.

    My sis {right} and me {left} paying homage to the traditional Christmas colors

    1. Gingerbread Houses: it may seem childish and trivial, but this is how I look at it: I can’t afford the mansion of my dreams (quite yet), but I can definitely afford a tub of frosting, a Bing Crosby Christmas CD, some gumdrops (disgusting… but 0h-so-cute), and a bottle of wine. That’s all it takes to have the perfect evening to build a little gingerbread mansion. I say, make a night of it. Invite the girls over and have a holiday sleepover. I even go so far as to build my little gingerbread dream man… As the saying goes, “He’s rich, he’s sweet, and if he misbehaves… you can bite his head off.”

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  • My Alphabet… Letters to Live By


    Attitude    : the most important element of an individual; one’s greatest accessory.  Your attitude defines you.  I try to keep mine positive, creative, open, and motivated.  I attempt to rid my life of those with a constantly poor attitude. One should always attempt to be their best self… and a great attitude is the first step to do this.

    Bikini: an invaluable invention combining scraps of fabric and strategic placement to achieve a sexy summer (or, for those of us who throw fashion rules and weather to the wind {or live in California}, year-round) look. I gravitate toward animal prints, metallics, and things that are crocheted or sequined. Embellishments are always encouraged. With so little fabric to work with, you can’t afford to be subtle. Large sunglasses enhance the effect.

    Cocktail: a delightful concoction consisting of alcohol and mixers. I try not to favor one cocktail too heavily. However, I feel you can never go wrong with something pink. Remember, a cocktail is more than a libation, it’s an accessory.

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  • The 13 Types of Men

    The 13 Types of Men


    I frequently hear the sentiment that men and women can’t “just be friends.”  Though I don’t know if this is true, it got me thinking about what men and women     can be… Women have a variety of men in their lives and these are just a few of the categories that come to mind.

    1. Platonic Friend – This is the guy to whom you are not attracted.  And never will be.  Ever.  There may be no rhyme nor reason to why you don’t feel an attraction to him, but you just know that he will always be like a brother to you.  To verify that you feel platonically toward him, you should note if you feel a twinge of envy when he has a girlfriend or an interest in someone.  If you’re genuinely happy for him, then feel safe with this relationship.  This is rare.  Hang onto it.

    2. Sexual Tension Friend – This is a common relationship for a man and a woman to fall into.  One of my male friends told me that a man won’t be friends “with a chick unless he thinks that he might be able to [sleep with] her” (he shall remain nameless but, as we were friends, I felt a bit uncomfortable… and felt the need to inform him that he should give up all hope of that ever happening).  This can be an incredibly fun, flirtatious, and interesting relationship.  BUT make sure to maintain the “tension” aspect of this friendship.  If the sexual tension becomes a reality fulfilled and no longer a “tension”, you may lose the lighthearted nature of this situation quickly.  Luckily, it’s easy to find a man to take over this spot.  I think it’s in their nature.


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    3. Bad Boy – The bane of our female existence and the thrill of it.  This guy could not care less about you.  Or at least pretends he could not.  He’s only concerned about himself.  He has a ridiculously sordid past.  Maybe he’s an alcoholic.  Maybe he’s a pothead.  Maybe he rides a motorcycle and is covered in tattoos.  Maybe he has a criminal record.  Maybe he is a cheater.  Maybe he puts you down/bails on you/disappears to ….Tijuana…. for the weekend.  But the relationship is addicting.  Or maybe you’re just addicted to the tumultuous nature of your relationship.  So you tolerate him.  And maybe, just maybe, you’ll be the one he’ll change for.  Get real.  Move on.  He’s a selfish jerk and this whole bad boy thing is working for him right now.  He’ll have another girl on the back of his bike tomorrow.  Get the bad boy thing out of your system and grow up.


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  • 25 Things I’ve Learned in My 25 Years


    1. Just because a man is a good kisser does not mean he is a good man. Kissing is important, don’t get me wrong, but do not let a skillful tongue and soft lips throw you into a witless stupor. Enjoy it for what it is and don’t expect the man to be as magnificent as his mouth.
    2. The power of a dress and a pair of heels should never be underestimated. Watch men get a case of whiplash as you walk by. Watch other women give you the once over with a moment of jealousy or admiration. The impact this makes on someone will tell you a lot about them. Does a woman support your feminine power? Befriend her. Does she envy or mock it? Avoid her

    3. Dancing in your underwear with your girlfriends should not be reserved for toddlers or male fantasies. Turn up the music, grab your hairbrush microphone, jump on the bed and giggle. You only live once. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

    4. Live in the moment. I do not mean to live recklessly. Recklessness should be doled out in moderation. I mean to seize the moment. Moods pass and change. If you feel inspired, do something with it. If you feel sad, recognize it. If you feel energetic, go on a run. If you feel funny, tell a story. If you feel bold, rock your craziest outfit. Trust your gut and don’t let the instant sensation pass you by.

    5. Embrace your inner Martha Stewart, Jenna Jameson, Carrie Bradshaw, and Siren. Make a pot roast and decoupage, have a crazy night with your man, be there for your girlfriends (while wearing the best clothes), and lure men to you… even if they crash upon the rocks. Nobody has a singular persona… so don’t limit yourself. Be the most powerful, intelligent, caring, creative person that you can be.

    6. Inspiration is one of the most beautiful things in the world. So is vodka.

    7. Being lazy is worse than being dead. Don’t spend your days on the couch, in bed, or hiding from the world. If you’re not up for the challenge of making an impact and being impacted, then you aren’t getting it.

    8. It is absolutely vital to find a balance between vulnerability and strength. Protect yourself, build the necessary walls and become an intricate labyrinth. But, at the core, never allow yourself to become hard. Feel for others and allow them to feel for you if they demonstrate an acceptable amount of loyalty that allows you to develop the requisite amount of trust. Nothing is more striking than an individual who has composure, yet allows you to feel close to them. Quiet strength and endless compassion demonstrate an otherworldly grace.

    9. Happy hour should be mandatory.

    10. A real woman can run a mile in sneakers, strut a mile in stilettos, and skip a mile barefoot.

    11. True love exists. It may not announce itself holding a glass slipper while atop a white stallion, but it is out there. Patience has something to do with it. So does timing. Stop sitting at home drumming your fingers and waiting for it to find you. Why don’t you go out there and do something amazing so that it can’t miss you?

    12. People who are generally negative generally do not want you to be happy. There is a reason that people say that misery loves company. You do not need to subject yourself to miserable company. Give the negative person a hug, a smile, a wink, a shot of whiskey, or anything you think may help and move on. You have too much going on and too much to offer to stick around this pariah.

    13. Do not waste your time or energy concerning yourself with what others may say or think about you. They are already wasting their time and energy on you. Do not reciprocate this waste of time.

    14. Take chances. Do not let the fear of failure or rejection stand in your way. Without taking the chance you will never become the smashing success that you are intended to become.

    15. One bowl of ice cream will not make you fat. Neither will a bowl of pasta. Do not freak out if you are enjoying your food… Food was made to be enjoyed. But, do not eat 10 bowls of the aforementioned ice cream or pasta in one sitting. This will definitely make you fat.

    16. Intelligence is sexy. Never play down your intelligence to make a man or a girlfriend feel more secure. Now, I’m not saying you should be some kind of Nietzsche spouting Lockean philosopher who engages in a pompous display of knowledge… that is nothing but a sick demonstration of ego and poor taste. But, if you have a naturally expansive vocabulary or an abnormally nerdy interest, don’t hide it.

    17. Never let anyone talk you into liking anyone else. If you don’t like them, there is likely a reason. Trust your instinct on people. You can’t force a friendship and you certainly can’t force an attraction.

    18. Your mom really can be your best friend. And your dad really can give amazing advice. Just because you’re an “adult,” it doesn’t mean that mom and dad should be kicked to the curb. It can be quite a gift to be able to stay their “little girl”… it can also be horribly annoying… but try to ignore the annoying part.

    19. There is no reason to have a timeline. The more I hear everyone talking about the age they will buy their first house/get married/get a promotion/have kids/move away the more I feel committed to NOT committing to a timeline. That is unnecessary pressure, it can push you into a situation in which you make bad decisions and, worst of all, you may miss the unexpected opportunities that life offers you. Be spontaneous.

    20. The greatest trap that one can fall into is self-pity. If you feel bad for yourself, then I feel bad for you. But I don’t want to be around you and I can’t help you. Everyone is in control of his or her own happiness and self-pity does nothing but immobilize you.

    21. I can get ready in 10 minutes or 3 hours. I will take as much time as I am allowed. I will probably be the only one who notices the difference that the extra 2 hours and 50 minutes made, but it will make me feel really good… so I will continue with my excessive pampering and primping habits when time allows. It’s the little luxuries that make being a woman so wonderful.

    22. Sex is pretty much the best thing in the world. But, don’t go giving it away, darn it. Nothing is more frustrating to me than the everything-was-so-great-last-night-and-then-we-slept-together-and-now-he-doesn’t-call talk. He doesn’t call because you didn’t demonstrate any self-respect. Why would he respect someone who doesn’t respect themselves? And, if you sleep with a man too soon, he will never put in the time or effort to really see you for what you are. Is that fair? No way. But it’s life, so wise up and play the game.

    23. Don’t take yourself too seriously. You will mess up. You will walk into a room and trip and fall on your face in front of a hundred people… this may happen literally or figuratively. Laugh at yourself. And, look on the bright side, now you have an amazing cocktail party story to tell.

    24. Fear is the most dangerous thing in the world. It stifles love, creativity, and growth.  Look fear in the eye and (hiding the fact that you are fiercely trembling in its gaze) laugh.  You don’t have time to be afraid.

    25. Laugh and love. Love and laugh. Do these two things as much and as often as you possibly can.