April, May, June, and July have been unusual months for me. As blogging/social media have been in my life for the past eight years, it was strange to step away from it all; yet, for four months, that is what I have done.
The beginning of April was incredibly difficult, one of the hardest times of my life, because a tragedy struck… and it struck me to my core. I choose not to go into the details of this tragedy because, though I broadcast much of my existence online, there are some moments that I consciously protect as they are private, personal, and sacred. The beginning of April held one such moment.
I have not been the kind of person who is prone to missing people.
I’ve been a trust-in-the-bigger-plan type of person + I accept that people have wonderfully complicated paths + purposes that cause them to come + go and jump around this beautiful planet of ours.
A thought hit me. A simple thought. That thought was: “This is my life.”
It was a thought filled with wonder + disbelief + gratitude + awe. I have been hustling, grinding, + burning the candle at both ends for the majority of my life. I did this to become the woman that the young woman on the left in the photo above needed.
I cannot believe that there is a DECADE between those two photos. The change that has happened between 22 and 32 has been astounding. As my “insides” changed while I focused on my mindset, my “outside” also changed with it. Personal growth is more tangible + obvious than most of us realize.
I attribute my personal growth to the following things:
As we approach 2017, I look back at 2016 with a flood of emotions.
This year has been absolutely life-changing. And it’s been a year filled with “the feels.”
Why?
It all came down to a decision to change. Not because I didn’t like who I was… I did (and that’s important. I want everyone to LOVE exactly who they are).
I decided that I wanted a great adventure. A fairy tale. A dream.
I wanted the thing that we’re told as a child that we can have… that we will have… and then, as we enter adolescence and early adulthood and beyond, we’re told by a thousand other voices here and there that we are no longer allowed access to that life. That the dream is impossible. That we’re asking for too much. That we should be comfortable where we are. That it’s ungracious to strive for more.
I call bulls$%t.
2016 was the year I decided to dream again. Believe. Wish.
I only needed one motto to make that change (and it aptly came to me in a fairy tale… Cinderella, in fact): “Have courage and be kind.”
That’s it. Two life rules to make everything change.
1. Courage
2. Kindness
The only thing standing between you and everything you want, deserve, and used to dream about is fear. With courage, bravery, persistence, and unabashed vigor (accompanied with constant kindness)… you can break through the illusion of fear.
Don’t get me wrong… it is not easy. Being brave is hard. Really really hard. There are sleepless nights, doubt, anxiety, and tears that accompany bravery. To grow, one must experience growing pains. In those moments, it is important to keep going.
Before any fairy tale character ever got to the castle, they had to brave the dark forest.
One of my dreams is that 2017 will be a year that we all learn to support one another’s fairy tale. The dark forest isn’t so dark if you aren’t alone. The dream isn’t so far away if the voices telling you it isn’t real don’t exist.
I commit my 2017 to the fairy tale. 2016 showed me that it’s oh-so-real (and worth every single sleepless night). Who needs sleep when reality is better than your dreams?
Wishing each of you an absolutely magical 2017. I hope that every single one of you lives a life that’s a little different (in small or big ways) this year than it was the last. Here’s to the dream. May you courageously earn your place in the sun.
I thought thirty would look a little something like this…
Happily married. Two children under the age of five. A 2,200 sq ft “cottage” with a white picket fence, solar power, grey water, and a chicken coop. A career (lawyer, real estate agent, POTUS) that generated considerable financial success. A published book that resulted in moderate national renown. Home-cooked Sunday brunches hosted in the backyard (all eggs provided by aforementioned chickens and produce provided by the yet-to-be-mentioned hydroponic garden) with a mimosa in hand, scratchy jazz playing, and a spattering of the most interesting, accomplished, jet-setting company that one could imagine.
No, no, no, I hadn’t put much thought into it. None at all.
The truth was that I had put so much thought into it that it had become real. I believed that this entire world existed and that the day I hit thirty I would magically acquire all of it. I don’t know if I thought the hard work I had put in would cause it to just appear. I don’t know if I thought it would come my way via osmosis. I didn’t think much about the “how”… I just focused on the “why.”
Why?
Because I believed that was the script that would result in happiness. I hadn’t even considered an alternative script. There was no alternative.
I take book recommendations quite seriously. If you’re a reader, I applaud you. If you’re not, this book is still right up your alley; it’s short, sweet, & packs a huge punch.
