M I N D S E T = T R A N S F O R M A T I O N

mindset transformation

Be who you needed when you were younger.

Photo on the left – 2008 (22 years old)
Photo on the right – 2018 (32 years old)

Today I woke up in a grateful, happy, + reflective mood. I made myself a matcha latte and sat on the couch in my new home.

A thought hit me. A simple thought. That thought was: “This is my life.”

It was a thought filled with wonder + disbelief + gratitude + awe. I have been hustling, grinding, + burning the candle at both ends for the majority of my life. I did this to become the woman that the young woman on the left in the photo above needed.

I cannot believe that there is a DECADE between those two photos. The change that has happened between 22 and 32 has been astounding.  As my “insides” changed while I focused on my mindset, my “outside” also changed with it.  Personal growth is more tangible + obvious than most of us realize.

I attribute my personal growth to the following things:

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As we approach 2017, I look back at 2016 with a flood of emotions.

This year has been absolutely life-changing. And it’s been a year filled with “the feels.”


It all came down to a decision to change. Not because I didn’t like who I was… I did (and that’s important. I want everyone to LOVE exactly who they are).

I decided that I wanted a great adventure. A fairy tale. A dream.

I wanted the thing that we’re told as a child that we can have… that we will have… and then, as we enter adolescence and early adulthood and beyond, we’re told by a thousand other voices here and there that we are no longer allowed access to that life. That the dream is impossible. That we’re asking for too much. That we should be comfortable where we are. That it’s ungracious to strive for more.

I call bulls$%t.

2016 was the year I decided to dream again. Believe. Wish.

I only needed one motto to make that change (and it aptly came to me in a fairy tale… Cinderella, in fact): “Have courage and be kind.”

That’s it. Two life rules to make everything change.
1. Courage
2. Kindness

The only thing standing between you and everything you want, deserve, and used to dream about is fear. With courage, bravery, persistence, and unabashed vigor (accompanied with constant kindness)… you can break through the illusion of fear.

Don’t get me wrong… it is not easy. Being brave is hard. Really really hard. There are sleepless nights, doubt, anxiety, and tears that accompany bravery. To grow, one must experience growing pains. In those moments, it is important to keep going.

Before any fairy tale character ever got to the castle, they had to brave the dark forest.

One of my dreams is that 2017 will be a year that we all learn to support one another’s fairy tale. The dark forest isn’t so dark if you aren’t alone. The dream isn’t so far away if the voices telling you it isn’t real don’t exist.

I commit my 2017 to the fairy tale. 2016 showed me that it’s oh-so-real (and worth every single sleepless night). Who needs sleep when reality is better than your dreams?

Wishing each of you an absolutely magical 2017. I hope that every single one of you lives a life that’s a little different (in small or big ways) this year than it was the last. Here’s to the dream. May you courageously earn your place in the sun.


I rarely use this blog as a platform for social change… but today is one of those days when I feel the need to encourage our generation (Millennials, I’m talking to you!) to give back.  Let’s NOT be known as the self-absorbed, entitled, and selfish generation… let’s be known as the generation that didn’t just insist on change, but actually facilitated that change.

I’m ready to walk the walk.  I urge you to join me.

Let’s be a part of the solution.

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25 Things I’ve Learned in My 25 Years

1. Just because a man is a good kisser does not mean he is a good man. Kissing is important, don’t get me wrong, but do not let a skillful tongue and soft lips throw you into a witless stupor. Enjoy it for what it is and don’t expect the man to be as magnificent as his mouth.
2. The power of a dress and a pair of heels should never be underestimated. Watch men get a case of whiplash as you walk by. Watch other women give you the once over with a moment of jealousy or admiration. The impact this makes on someone will tell you a lot about them. Does a woman support your feminine power? Befriend her. Does she envy or mock it? Avoid her

3. Dancing in your underwear with your girlfriends should not be reserved for toddlers or male fantasies. Turn up the music, grab your hairbrush microphone, jump on the bed and giggle. You only live once. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

4. Live in the moment. I do not mean to live recklessly. Recklessness should be doled out in moderation. I mean to seize the moment. Moods pass and change. If you feel inspired, do something with it. If you feel sad, recognize it. If you feel energetic, go on a run. If you feel funny, tell a story. If you feel bold, rock your craziest outfit. Trust your gut and don’t let the instant sensation pass you by.

5. Embrace your inner Martha Stewart, Jenna Jameson, Carrie Bradshaw, and Siren. Make a pot roast and decoupage, have a crazy night with your man, be there for your girlfriends (while wearing the best clothes), and lure men to you… even if they crash upon the rocks. Nobody has a singular persona… so don’t limit yourself. Be the most powerful, intelligent, caring, creative person that you can be.

6. Inspiration is one of the most beautiful things in the world. So is vodka.

7. Being lazy is worse than being dead. Don’t spend your days on the couch, in bed, or hiding from the world. If you’re not up for the challenge of making an impact and being impacted, then you aren’t getting it.

8. It is absolutely vital to find a balance between vulnerability and strength. Protect yourself, build the necessary walls and become an intricate labyrinth. But, at the core, never allow yourself to become hard. Feel for others and allow them to feel for you if they demonstrate an acceptable amount of loyalty that allows you to develop the requisite amount of trust. Nothing is more striking than an individual who has composure, yet allows you to feel close to them. Quiet strength and endless compassion demonstrate an otherworldly grace.

9. Happy hour should be mandatory.

10. A real woman can run a mile in sneakers, strut a mile in stilettos, and skip a mile barefoot.

11. True love exists. It may not announce itself holding a glass slipper while atop a white stallion, but it is out there. Patience has something to do with it. So does timing. Stop sitting at home drumming your fingers and waiting for it to find you. Why don’t you go out there and do something amazing so that it can’t miss you?

12. People who are generally negative generally do not want you to be happy. There is a reason that people say that misery loves company. You do not need to subject yourself to miserable company. Give the negative person a hug, a smile, a wink, a shot of whiskey, or anything you think may help and move on. You have too much going on and too much to offer to stick around this pariah.

13. Do not waste your time or energy concerning yourself with what others may say or think about you. They are already wasting their time and energy on you. Do not reciprocate this waste of time.

14. Take chances. Do not let the fear of failure or rejection stand in your way. Without taking the chance you will never become the smashing success that you are intended to become.

15. One bowl of ice cream will not make you fat. Neither will a bowl of pasta. Do not freak out if you are enjoying your food… Food was made to be enjoyed. But, do not eat 10 bowls of the aforementioned ice cream or pasta in one sitting. This will definitely make you fat.

16. Intelligence is sexy. Never play down your intelligence to make a man or a girlfriend feel more secure. Now, I’m not saying you should be some kind of Nietzsche spouting Lockean philosopher who engages in a pompous display of knowledge… that is nothing but a sick demonstration of ego and poor taste. But, if you have a naturally expansive vocabulary or an abnormally nerdy interest, don’t hide it.

17. Never let anyone talk you into liking anyone else. If you don’t like them, there is likely a reason. Trust your instinct on people. You can’t force a friendship and you certainly can’t force an attraction.

18. Your mom really can be your best friend. And your dad really can give amazing advice. Just because you’re an “adult,” it doesn’t mean that mom and dad should be kicked to the curb. It can be quite a gift to be able to stay their “little girl”… it can also be horribly annoying… but try to ignore the annoying part.

19. There is no reason to have a timeline. The more I hear everyone talking about the age they will buy their first house/get married/get a promotion/have kids/move away the more I feel committed to NOT committing to a timeline. That is unnecessary pressure, it can push you into a situation in which you make bad decisions and, worst of all, you may miss the unexpected opportunities that life offers you. Be spontaneous.

20. The greatest trap that one can fall into is self-pity. If you feel bad for yourself, then I feel bad for you. But I don’t want to be around you and I can’t help you. Everyone is in control of his or her own happiness and self-pity does nothing but immobilize you.

21. I can get ready in 10 minutes or 3 hours. I will take as much time as I am allowed. I will probably be the only one who notices the difference that the extra 2 hours and 50 minutes made, but it will make me feel really good… so I will continue with my excessive pampering and primping habits when time allows. It’s the little luxuries that make being a woman so wonderful.

22. Sex is pretty much the best thing in the world. But, don’t go giving it away, darn it. Nothing is more frustrating to me than the everything-was-so-great-last-night-and-then-we-slept-together-and-now-he-doesn’t-call talk. He doesn’t call because you didn’t demonstrate any self-respect. Why would he respect someone who doesn’t respect themselves? And, if you sleep with a man too soon, he will never put in the time or effort to really see you for what you are. Is that fair? No way. But it’s life, so wise up and play the game.

23. Don’t take yourself too seriously. You will mess up. You will walk into a room and trip and fall on your face in front of a hundred people… this may happen literally or figuratively. Laugh at yourself. And, look on the bright side, now you have an amazing cocktail party story to tell.

24. Fear is the most dangerous thing in the world. It stifles love, creativity, and growth.  Look fear in the eye and (hiding the fact that you are fiercely trembling in its gaze) laugh.  You don’t have time to be afraid.

25. Laugh and love. Love and laugh. Do these two things as much and as often as you possibly can.